Out of Office

Hello, 

If you’re reading this, I’m already somewhere far away from Wi-Fi, in a place where computers are sacrilegious — and no, I’m not just saying that so you’ll leave me alone while I’m out of office.

Out of office? Does she even have a job?

If you’ve been following along, you know I left my job to immerse myself in the messy work of overcoming fears, embracing the unknown and discovering the art of relaxation. And now that I’m my own boss, I’m also realizing the importance of setting boundaries with myself, which includes knowing when it’s time to take a break from the computer and my regular posting schedule. What I’m beginning to understand is that “office” isn’t just a physical space – it’s also a mindset that can infiltrate all areas of life. Being in the office can be fulfilling, but it can also creep into evenings, weekends and vacation until you’re never fully disconnected from work.

For years, even when working remotely, I struggled to make a separation between work and personal life. This is the first out of office message I’ve ever written because on every other vacation I always felt compelled to at least check my email.

This urge to stay plugged in was almost always correlated to how thriving or underwhelming my personal life felt. When I didn’t make time for my life outside of work, the need to stay connected to work intensified, something I can trace back to the beginning of my career as a journalist in New York. I was a recent graduate eager to prove myself at a startup where there was always more to do. Everybody there worked a lot, but at a certain point, I was also in the office because my identity had become so intertwined with the job that building a life outside of that felt daunting.

My relationship with the office improved when I moved to Germany, a country known for its work-life balance policies. The German Federal Leave Act entitles full-time employees to at least 24 days of vacation to promote rest, and there are also extensive programs to support working parents to encourage a healthy lifestyle and prevent burnout. There is such attention to balance that disconnecting from the office is even built into the language. I’ll tell you how, but first, my favorite German poem: 

c/o The Paris Review

Over years of trying to improve German, one of the best words I’ve learned is Feierabend, which translates to end of the workday, quitting time or closing time. It is a word that marks the transition from the rigors of a workday to the sanctuary of personal life. People in Germany wish each other “schönen Feierabend,” happy end of the work day, a ritual acknowledging the importance of stepping away from the job.

I wish I could say that this one charming word cured me, but for many years I was still working at an American company as a remote employee in a different time zone. I often felt like I wasn’t doing enough and feared that my colleagues saw me as a slacker when I logged off in my evenings, which was still their afternoons. 

But during these years, I also started to get a life, one where people who cared about me got annoyed when I checked Slack on Friday nights or continued talking about work long after the day was done. Gradually, my personal life became an anchor, pulling me back into the present and away from the endless demands of labor. 

Here’s what I’m learning about how be OOO. 

1. Build a life outside of work — Find things that make you happy that are not productive and have nothing to do with your job. Do them because they are fun for you.  
2. Have people who keep you accountable — surround yourself with people who remind you that work isn’t everything. 
3. Establish a ritual that separates your job from personal life. Maybe it’s a walk around the block or lighting a candle or putting your laptop in a drawer you don’t open until the next day. If someone really needs you, they’ll figure it out. 
4. Finally, take your time off seriously. For some of us the calm and nothingness of time off can be so unfamiliar and counterintuitively uncomfortable that we end up checking on work just to feel normal. Resist the urge. You deserve a break. 

With that, this is the part of the OOO note where I say that I’ll read and reply to messages when I return. Until then, hit that like and subscribe. 

Ta ta for now. 

c/o Debbie Ohi via Giphy